Jeff Baker: Date Night

Happy Valentine’s Day readers! I hope you’ve enjoyed all the romance on the zine so far. Here’s another little helping – a tongue-in-cheek and clever poem from Jeff Baker that could easily be written about a Valentine’s Day dance… Don’t forget to check out Jeff’s other writing at his website.


Pic credit: Gerd Altmann on

My date stood me up for the dance

            He said he’d found another guy

            So I went dancing with the Seven Deadly Sins.


First, I danced with Pride, and danced better than anybody else.

            Then I danced with Envy, both of us feeling

            The others on the floor were dancing so much better than we were.


I swirled around the floor with Greed, all the while

            Eyeing his shoes, his gold belt buckle

            And wondering how much he paid for his car.


I was dancing with Anger, who said he felt the same way.

And would have beaten up Greed, or Envy or Pride

If he could make up his mind who to hit first.


I was uncomfortable dancing with Lust

Who bulged in all the wrong places

And somehow danced way too close.


Then I danced with Gluttony, and that didn’t last long

            We did a turn then we danced our way into the kitchen

            Where we filled up on junk food.


Lastly, Sloth and I sat on the chairs that surrounded the old school gym

            And watched the others whirling away, in the dimming light

            Happy to be there, happier still to be sitting down.

            Watching the other dancers making us even more tired.